Notice (8): unserialize() [function.unserialize]: Error at offset 8183 of 46160 bytes [CORE/cake/libs/cache/file.php, line 190]

Code | Context

                $data = str_replace('\\\\\\\\', '\\', $data);
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Sprache

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Geographisch

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Dreifaltigkeit meiner Zwirnspulenexistenz

Angelika Meier

Wer ich wirklich bin

Veröffentlicht am 09.04.2018

In perfekt sitzender Uniform, die Hakenkreuzbinde frisch aufgebügelt, stehe ich in einer langen Schlange in einer amerikanischen Behörde, um einen Antrag auf einen total war zu stellen, doch nach stundenlangem Schlangestehen teilt mir der freundliche Sachbearbeiter mit, dass das application form for foreign aggressions im Saal nebenan zu erbitten sei. Da ich ein depressiver Faschist bin, lasse ich trotz meiner feschen braunen Uniform den Kopf immer recht schnell hängen und beschließe daher, für heute Schluss und lieber erst morgen den nächsten Versuch zu machen. Am nächsten Morgen stehe ich so auch tatsächlich wacker in der richtigen Schlange, habe dann aber nicht alle Papiere zusammen, um ordnungsgemäß einen total war zu beantragen. Neben der Geburtsurkunde (Original, keine Kopie!) fehlen mir zwei weitere Empfehlungsschreiben amerikanischer Staatsbürger. Man braucht fünf. Aber – ich dachte, drei… Nein, fünf insgesamt! Lächelnd hebt die Sachbearbeiterin ihre rechte Hand, die Finger anschaulich gespreizt. Wo ich doch aber schon für diese drei so lang rumgerannt bin.

Wieder zuhause mag ich mit hängenden Schultern auf dem Bett sitzend trefflich räsonieren über das Scheitern des Bösen an der seelenlosen Bürokratie. Und darüber dass, wie Benjamin sagt, alle Hoffnung in der Korruption liegt. Denk an den Schlossbeamten Bürgel, der, in der Nacht von dir überrascht, zumindest tut er so, der falsche, nicht zuständige und also genau richtige Ansprechpartner für dein Anliegen ist oder zumindest wäre, wenn du jetzt im Gespräch mit ihm nicht vom Schlaf übermannt würdest, wobei du ehrlicherweise einräumen musst, dass du gar nicht übermannt wirst, sondern dich willentlich willenlos einfach nicht mehr wachhältst, sondern lieber groteskes Zeug träumst, auf dass es auch diesmal nicht klappt mit deiner Sache, denn merke: The lost cause is the only one worth fighting for. Wobei das hier ja nun der umgekehrte Fall, die umgekehrte Logik wäre: dass in der Hoffnung alle Korruption liegt.

Aber sei’s drum, noch ist eben Hoffnung. Weil es doch einen guten Menschen bei der Behörde geben muss, der mir helfen wird, es kann gar nicht anders sein, denn We shall never surrender, bis zum letzten Mann werden wir kämpfen, und der bin nun mal ich, der erste, einzige und letzte, Dreifaltigkeit meiner Zwirnspulenexistenz, dreimal falte das Mädchen, so und so und so, schon hat sich alles zu einem unbesiegbaren Wesen verfitzt, krumm und schief lehnt es an der Dachbodenwand: the last man standing. Also steh wieder auf, das Sterben verschieb erneut auf morgen. Die Uniform flüchtig glattgestrichen und...

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